Hello, 30. Goodbye, attractively-worded and ultimately unattainable long-term goals.

I recognize it's time for a confession (although that violates one of the central tenets of this blog). It's been far too long, so let's be real for half a second about why: I started this fall feeling waaaaaay too optimistic about what I could realistically accomplish while working at a charter school, living in Brooklyn, and maintaining some kind of a relationship with Excellent Boyfriend (who still lives in Philadelphia). That being said, let's break it down:

Success: I've lost 5 pounds!

Abysmal Failures: I haven't sustained any additional weight loss. I'm too sleepy to run on the regular. I eat Hawaiian pizza twice a week and I'm the first in line for second breakfast.

Mitigating Circumstances: Between class time, prep time, meetings, parent phone calls, high expectations, personal failures, anxiety, worry, and sleeplessness, I maintain what amounts to a waking-life work day.

That being said, tomorrow marks the first day of my birthday month. I'm about to turn 30 and, for reasons I'm sure I don't have to spell out, my frantic days are now imbued with deeper dread.

Therefore, to combat this unease, these are the things that I will do, disregarding risk of injury or infamy, before the dawn of October 17th:

1. I will run a marathon. Not all at once, of course, because that would be ridiculous. No, friends: I hereby swear that I will log 26.2 non-consecutive miles between this evening and my birthday.

2. I will cook something healthy and share it with my friends.

3. I will bake something awful and eat most of it myself.

4. I will sleep outside, for one night, and I will look at the stars and drink whiskey.

5. I will wear something scandalous.

6. I will visit my favorite coffee shop---the one I haven't been to in five years---to smoke a cigarette and play a game of Scrabble. Then I will cross the street to buy a special for a stranger.

7. I will finish a book.

8. I will write a terrible poem.

9. I will do something nice for my co-teacher, my parents, and my sister.

10. I will win a hand or two or six at blackjack.

AND

11. I will keep this semi-regularly updated :oD